I walked the trails at Paris Mountain State Park for a number of years, starting back in 2001 after I left my career, trying to out-run the anxiety that plagued me, trying to find some peace of mind out in nature. Some of those walks lasted over four hours, up and down wooded hillsides and mountainsides, alongside creeks, around lakes. And I admit I did occasionally find some peace there. I also found some things that triggered old memories of war trauma.

Sometimes the trauma of war or the trauma of life can lead to a dark place. If the mind is weak, as it often is, that dark place may beckon to you in perverse but appealing ways. In a day-to-day life where anxiety is hell and depression is heaven, slipping into the darkness, where nothing matters at all, seems as natural as a puppy's wagging tail.