My heart is featherlight. My mind is full. I know this feeling. I have felt it before. It’s a good feeling, a feeling of happiness, perhaps joy, a fleeting feeling, but a feeling that grabs your focus and sets you down in a quiet spot, a place where that special feeling can wash over you, raise you up, heal you, if you will take the time to let it.
And I will.
I sit here in my moments of reflection, remembering the morning, that biting cold, that clear blue sky, that inviting forest, filled with wildlife, animals of all sorts, seemingly immune to the cold weather, paying little attention to me and my camera, going about their business, while looking so interesting to me, even beautiful.
And now I’m back at home, in my room, where it’s nice and warm, sipping Earl Grey tea, looking at my computer screen, capturing my thoughts, thinking about the special moments I just experienced, waiting patiently, perhaps impatiently, for my photos to load into Lightroom so that I can see the images I’ve captured, so that I can revel in the memories I’ve captured.
I still have my old camera, my Nikon D610 DSLR, its outdated technology an occasional thorn in my side, including a couple of times this morning when the action happened after the camera buffer was full. For a few days I also have a rented lens: a Nikon 200 – 500 mm lens, too heavy for me to carry often, nonetheless, capable of capturing images my old Tamron 70 – 200 mm lens cannot reach.
But today, it’s not about old cameras or heavy lenses. It’s about the things I saw and how close they seemed at 500 mm, almost close enough to reach out and touch. Today’s experience has given me much to think about. I am reminded that heavy gear detracts from the experience; but as a direct contradiction, the reach of that heavy lens caused me much excitement.
And as I looked through that lens, watching so closely the movements of beautiful wild creatures, I began to realize how much of the experience I could not capture, unless, after some future upgrade to a mirrorless camera system, I take the time to develop the skills to capture these wonderful creatures on video.
My heart is featherlight, boosted by possibilities, lifted higher than normal, relieved of the natural weight of daily life as I revel in precious moments, confident the future will hold more like these. My mind is full, full of fleeting thoughts, thoughts of the good things that are now, and the even better things that are possible for the future.
And it pleases me, pleases me to know I can still feel this way, pleases me to know that life, abundant life, is not lost to me, is still there, still possible, still reaching out for me as I reach out for it.
The ups and downs, the pains and the pleasures, the many losses, the few treasured wins … I am pleased to say, for whatever time I have, I can look back with some pride, look forward with some promise, and look inward to each moment, feeling blessed beyond my previous imaginings.
Gratitude lives inside me, calms me, gives me strength.
In this good time, I will settle my mind, settle down and think. And in a most quiet moment I will contemplate the ephemeral and the eternal, knowing full well my ignorance of both, but filled with hope that I am worthy and ready for whatever is yet to come.